Blue Skies Meet The Sunrise

I'm rocking this never posting business.

I'm at home now, rather, my mother's house in San Diego. Finals are over, the calendar year is ending, life is craziness. My 22nd birthday is in a few short days, my boyfriend's 23rd was about a week ago, and our 1 year anniversary was at the beginning of the month. Like when we became "official," he is deployed.


On the flight home, I sat next to a sweet couple from the bay area - he's a pro baseball player, she's a music promoter - and we talked a bit about what we do, relationships, hazing, and differences between Northern and Southern California. As we deplaned (what an awful word), the man said "good luck with you and your man - he's in our prayers, let him know, will you?" she said to tell him thank you.

It was honestly very touching.

I wasn't comfortable with him joining the marine corps - I may have mentioned it before - but I was extremely angry with him for making that decision, even though I knew he was going to make it and I knew he didn't have any desire to lead a civilian life. I've grown to appreciate and even like the corps - it means a lot to him and it's grown to mean a lot to me. I realize that I was wrong about a lot of things, especially when it comes to military life and my involvement with someone who is in the military. I can say without a doubt that my opinions have turned on their heads. My experience with my boyfriend and with the corps has enabled me to really appreciate what the other important people in my life do in the military. My brother is serving (Air Force!), as are a number of friends who have joined up since high school, and i'm proud of each and every one of them - so so proud. They do amazing things, whether they realize or admit to it or not, and I wanted to say thank you to all of them too. I'm blessed to know so many men and women who do a damn good thing for this country every day - whether it's fixing fax machines or A-10's, driving a humvee or an LSD-45, checking in visitors at the gate or running all those top-secret secure comm lines... you guys are all awesome.

When I was younger, I was vehemently anti-war, anti-government, anti- a lot of things. I would have fit in just fine at a young anarcho-socialists meeting in Berkeley and I was fairly sure that if people just gave peace a chance that everything would work out swimmingly, we could solve global hunger, and damnit, we could find a way to clothe and house all the homeless in PB, too. Maybe that's true, but my idea of change, of peace, and of how we make those things happen has changed significantly. I'm a lot more jaded, cynical, "realistic," and cranky than I was then, but one thing is better: I know how to make change happen, and make it meaningful.

So the revolution continues - it's a bit older, a bit wiser, and it probably does it's laundry a bit more often, but it's still going strong.

Growing older means growing up - it's really hit me over the past few weeks that, oh crap, i'm actually one of those adults things now. I worry about bills and getting everything done, I plan my free time around when my friends and I happen to have a mutual day or afternoon off. I'm worrying about job security and retirement plans and wondering if i'll have time to look at my mom's car engine and fix the plumbing and move the couch while i'm visiting because her back is bad and she shouldnt do it herself. I'm thinking about whether it would be worthwhile to take a job near my boyfriend's permanent duty station when he's leaving for a TOD that'll last a few years (its not) or whether the pay to cost of living ratio is better in oregon, maryland, or texas.

I'm realizing that I don't have to go back to school come september, but that also means that I won't be seeing the Bear again, I won't have to deal with the insanity of giving freshmen new mail keys or tsk-ing at freshmen who haven't cut their hair yet. No more weekend yachting kids fresh out of high school, and no more 24-hour watches in the CDO office. I can drink whenever I want, but I don't find I always want to. I have to start worrying about moving into a new apartment instead of a new dorm... it's kind of nuts.

The revolution, i think, is a lot about changing yourself so that you can change the world. You change the way you look at things, which changes the way you act on things, and the way you act changes the actions themselves. A hurricane from a butterfly's wings - as we grow, we change, and in so doing, we can change the world.

So here's to change, to a new year, a new you, a new view, and to all of us doing everything we can to make the world a better place in our own little ways.