Tuna In The Brine

It's been a wet month. It's been rainy, and many tears have been shed - i'm glad it will be over in an hour or so. Kim told me the other day that January is always the worst month in the year, and I think she's got a point - my mom always told me that getting started is the hardest part.

I've fought with friends this month, very real, awful sort of fights that adults have, not that we have when we're teenagers. Fights about serious subjects and commitments and they haven't all gone well. Some of those fights are over and we've moved past it. Others... I won't say that friendships are over or lost, but we arent speaking. That sort of thing hurts, especially when, in retrospect, I think we both realize that a lot of us not talking is simply out of anger and frustration because we do care, not because we don't. It hurts that we aren't speaking, but I don't think either of us are willing to make the first move just yet. The hurt is still too fresh - I'm sorry, but I'm hurt and wounded too.

We lost another shipmate. A friend, someone who I saw almost every day- Devin Mellinger, who was my Division Commander. He was found in his car on the side of the road last Tuesday, dead from a heart attack. He was my age, and he would have graduated with me in April. I stepped into line during formation on Wednesday, and I saw Nick in front - then Julian made the announcement. I had heard earlier in the day, during my 7:50 class that morning, but it wasn't real until he wasn't standing there, 6 feet from me in line. It's been a lot harder on me than I thought it would be, harder on all of us. We've lost two of our own this past year, and I can't think of the last class that's had any deaths, let alone two - i'm not really sure what to think or feel right now. Devin was a damn fine friend, shipmate, marine, and human being.

The wind is whistling, the building is infested with ants, its raining cats and dogs, I lost my keys.

Bring on month 2, 2008.